Archives for July 2007
Reverend John Flapps
The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town.
One day he was walking down the high street, when he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer.
The Reverend wasn’t happy.
He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.
“Miss Fitzgerald”, he said […]
Candy bar
It was another Payday, and I was tired of being a Mr. Goodbar. So I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue, and I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetart, how’d you like to Krunch on my Big Hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?”
Well, she […]
Out of Printing Paper
Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?””Just use the copier machine paper,” the other responded. With that,the blonde took her last remaining […]
Grocery shopping
There was a guy who was grocery shopping…when he was done he went up the cashier. He put all his stuff on the counter. He had a frozen pizza, case of pepsi, loaf of bread, thing of bologna, a bag of dorito’s, and a 4 pack of toliet paper.
The cashier started to tally up his […]
Why Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex
You’re guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
It’s ok when the person you’re with fantasizes you’re someone else, because
you are […]
Two Rednecks in the Bar
Two Rednecks were sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life.
One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern.
One drunk says, “I sure wish that sheep was Marilyn Monroe.”
The other says, “I just wish it […]
7 day to go
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm. “Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how’s about a quick screw?” said Bert. Mabel’s answer as expected was, “No Bert, it’s only 6 days […]
Join the Army
A young man joined the Army and signed up to be a paratrooper. After weeks of training the young got to jump out of his first plane. The man watched people ahead of him go and when it was his turn to jump he got scared and sat back down. The troop leader said to […]
Bad wives
Three guys are in a bar discussing how much their wives bitch at them.
They decide that when they get home, they’ll do everything that the women ask.
The next weekend, they are in the same bar.
The first guy says, “Man, I don’t think that our idea was so great! I was sitting on the couch watching […]
Your Brakes
A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center road, making love.
He blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them.
Realizing that […]
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