Archives for the 'Blondes' Category
Blondes Q&A
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
Q: What is a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!
Q: What did the blonde’s right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They’ve never met.
Q: What’s the mating call of the blonde?
A: “I’m *sooo* drunk!”
Q: […]
Out of Printing Paper
Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?””Just use the copier machine paper,” the other responded. With that,the blonde took her last remaining […]
Pink Curtains
A blonde woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many textures, prints and hues of pink fabrics. Once she has finally picked out a pink floral pattern, the salesman asked her […]
Gift for the mailman
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift […]
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that…
- she called me to get my phone number.
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate.”
- she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
- she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
- […]
Smart in the mirror
“I can’t believe it! Today I saw the smart man in the mirror today!”
“I believe, but why don’t you turned around?”
Blonde at the store
Blonde bought a refrigerator.
“What do you need this fridge for? You live in Siberia.”
“To warm up during winter. Imagine the joy - it’s -40 outside and +4 in a the refrigerator.”
***
Blonde goes to a store.
“Do you have color TVs?”
“Yes.”
“All right. I’ll take a green one.”
***
Blonde went to the information booth:
“Tell me please.”
“Please.”
“Thank you.”
***
Blonde - sentry:
“Stop. […]
Drunken Man and Blonde
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, ‘’You wanna hear a blonde joke?’’ The person replies, ‘’I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 […]
Puzzle Pieces
Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, “61 days 61 days!”
The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, “Why are you chanting 61 days?”
One of the three answer, “Because the box said 3-6- years!”
Blonde swimming
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are swimming breast stroke in a race. The blonde comes in last and says: “I don’t mean to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their hands.”
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