Archives for the 'Ethnic' Category
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The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says, “In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world. Nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of […]
Metric versus Imperial
Due to a lot of confusion between inches and liters, miles and centimeters it was decided to apply a new really International universal system of measurements:
’bout this tall
’bout this wide
’bout this big
’bout yay hot
’bout yay cold
Facts about New-Englanders
New England men are so tough, that they aren’t drinking coffee - they are eating it right out of the pack.
New England hockey players are so tough, that they are playing hockey with the crow-bars.
New England mosquitoes are so tough, that they are sucking their own blood.
Continue reading 20 Facts about New-Englanders…
Rabbi’s advice
An old Jew seeks advice:
“I’m in trouble, rabbi. Yesterday, my only son had a pig on the table and a Christian girl in his bed.”
“That’s not so bad,” answers the rabbi. “It might be worth a lot, like a pig in the bed and a girl on the table.”
***
A young man:
“Rabbi, I don’t know what […]
International Genetics Meeting
At the International Genetics Meeting.
An American reports:
“We crossed chickens with cows. The new breed simultaneously produces milk, meat and eggs.”
Report from France:
“We succeeded in cross-breeding flies and bees. The hybrid flies over the trash fields and produces honey.”
“And we crossed a melon with cockroaches,” says the Russian. “When you cut this melon, seeds run away […]
Funny genealogy
A young English girl trying to impress her American date said:
“My genealogy starts from a person who met the Queen. She touched his shoulder and made him a knight.”
“Well, said the American, my genealogy starts from a person who faced an Indian chief. The chief touched his head with a tomahawk and made him an […]
Scotch donation
Honey, there are some people at the door asking for donations to build a new swimming pool.
“Give them three…, no, two buckets of water.”
***
The owner of a Scotch company tells his employees: “You worked very well during this year. The company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I ‘ll give everyone a check for 20 […]
Business agreement
Rabinowich sits in front of the Rockefeller Bank and sells oranges.
His friend comes and asks to borrow a couple of bucks.
“You know,” says Rabinowich, “Rockefeller and I reached an agreement - he does not sell oranges, and I do not lend money.”
Funeral comes
“Why should I go to Rabinowich’s funeral! He definitely will not go to mine.”
***
“May I talk to Rabinowich?”
“Which one, junior or senior?”
“Senior.”
“They’re both dead.”
Naked women jokes
A naked woman gets into a taxi. A cab driver looks at her stupefied.
“What’s up. Havn’t you ever seen a naked woman?”
“No. I’m just wondering where you suppose to take the money from.”
***
A popular French magazine held a contest for the best description of the morning time.
First prize was awarded to the author of the […]
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