Archives for the 'Kids' Category
It’s too late
“How old is the little tyrant?”
“Fourteen.”
“Ooh. Too late for an abortion, huh?”
Good boy
“Sir, would you like some of my candy?”
“Thank you, young man. that’s very generous of you.”
“Is it tasty?”
“Sure is.”
“That’s strange - both my guinea pig and my cat spit it out.”
Prospectful future
Two Jewish women meet on the street, one of whom has her children with her. The other says: “Such beautiful children! How old are they?”
“The doctor is seven and the lawyer is five.”
Sado-Mazo
One day Mom was cleaning Junior’s room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, […]
None For You
A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.
“Not yet,â€? said the little boy. His mother tells him he can’t have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he […]
Wedding Dress
A little girl at a wedding asked, “Mommy, why do brides always wear white?”
“Because they’re happy,” the mom replied.
Halfway through the wedding, the girl whispered, “Mommy, if brides wear white because they’re happy, then why do grooms wear black?”
Shut-up and Trouble
In a small town in California there lived two boys, Shut-up and Trouble. These boys were friends, but every once-in-awhile they would get into a fight. One time after they had both just gotten ice-cream, Trouble’s ice-cream fell. Trouble then stole Shut-up’s ice-cream and ran away. Shut-up ran after Trouble but eventually lost him, sat […]
Go Fish
Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, “Grandpa can I have some beer too?”
“Can you stick your penis in your asshole?” grandpa asked back.
“No”
“Well, than your not big enough”
Granpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. […]
Prehistoric fathers and sons
Prehistoric boy returns home from school and gives his father the big marble plate - school progress record. His father reads it and starts yelling:
“I understand why you have got B on the language test - we are just start to talk. I understand why you have got B on the math test - our […]
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