Archives for the 'Love' Category
Women’s question
A man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.
“Well,” the man says, “I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now […]
50 Years Married
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.”
“Yeah,” she replied, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.”
“Yep,” the old […]
7 day to go
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm. “Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how’s about a quick screw?” said Bert. Mabel’s answer as expected was, “No Bert, it’s only 6 days […]
Tastiest cookies
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, […]
The day after
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room […]
Duct Tape Not Fixing
Duct Tape, contrary to popular opinion, is not good for fixing everything!
Bill walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong.
“Well,” replies Paul, “You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time […]
Golden Wedding
Jim, age 92, and Diane, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”
Jacob: “We’re about […]
Blank or not
Woman and her lover are in bed.
Lover: “Your husband carrying a rifle everywhere. If he caught us, he shoot me.”
“Do not worry, I have replaced all five bullets in his gun with the blanks.”
And here comes husband. The lover running to a window, but the husband shoots him to death.
“And I thought that I […]
Girl’s secret desires
The girl have quarreled with her boyfriend. To revenge him she’s going to crash his aquarium. The golden fish in aquarium looks at her and said:
“No, baby, please! I’ll make your wish come true!”
“OK. I want to make Peter loved me greater than most girls in the world. To take care of me and […]
Marriage jokes
“Why did you escape from prison?” a policeman asks the fugitive.
“I wanted to get married.”
“Heh. You have quite the strange view of freedom.”
***
“Father. I decided to get married.”
“That’s OK, son. However you should realize that family replaces everything for a man. So before you do this, think what is more important to you - family […]
RSS
