Archives for the 'Medical humor' Category
Fingering corpses
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.
“You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear.”
At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the […]
Heart location
An 83-year old woman decided that she’d seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn’t certain […]
At the doctor’s office
A beautiful woman walks into a doctors office and the doctor is awestruck. All his professionalism goes out the window. He tells her to take off her pants and he starts rubbing her thighs. He says “Do you know what I am doing?”
She replies “Yes, checking for abnormalities.”
He tells her to take off her shirt […]
Golden Wedding
Jim, age 92, and Diane, age 89, living in Florida, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”
Jacob: “We’re about […]
Vasectomy at home
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough.
As the social wouldn’t buy them a bigger bed and they weren’t strong enough to nick one, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a […]
Funny dialog
“Honey, It’s new life rising inside me…”
“Do you pregnant?”
“No. I got chlamydias.”
Pack warnings
Man and woman smoking in the staircase. He reads a warning on his pack: “Smoking can lead to impotence.”
And she reads on her pack: “Smoking can lead to pregnancy disorder.”
“Hm… Let’s change!”
Turtle love
A man goes to a psychiatrist.
Doctor: “What are your problems?”
“You know, doc. Every morning immediately after waking up I going to the aquarium to check my turtle. Then feeding her, giving he a water and taking her to a park to stroll a couple of hours. A then we coming back to home. And so […]
Information leakage
“Good morning, patient. Any complains?”
“Yeah, its information leakage, Doctor!”
“And what’s wrong?”
“Funeral bureau agent came before you!”
Be careful with the table
An experienced surgeon rebukes a young one: “Who taught you to make such awful incisions? This is the fourth operating table you’ve scratched up!”
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