Archives for the 'Medical humor' Category
One long long path
“Doctor! Where you are taking me to?”
“To the morgue.”
“But I’m not dead yet.”
“So what? We haven’t arrived yet either.”
Happy to pay taxes
A psychiatrist says to his patient, “So, you say that you’re happy to pay your taxes… And when did this start?”
Gloomy doctor
“Why so gloomy, doctor?”
“One of my patients just died.”
“Well, that should teach you to take money in advance.”
English Patient
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.
The son was so overcome with grief that he didn’t […]
Who’s the Most Fun to Operate On?
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on.
The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”.
The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order”.
The third surgeon said, “I like operating on […]
I Can See You!
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he […]
Leper Hockey
Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
Low self-esteem
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking […]
Feeling guilty
Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. “Doctor, you must help me,” she pleaded. “It’s gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a […]
Better relationship
A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.”
“What’s the problem?” the doctor inquired.
“Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.”
“My friend, this […]
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