Archives for the 'Men' Category
What’s the difference
Q: What’s the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 pounds
Q:What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: About 45 minutes
Women’s question
A man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.
“Well,” the man says, “I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now […]
50 Years Married
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.”
“Yeah,” she replied, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.”
“Yep,” the old […]
Notice of Increase in Tax Payment Form
To: All Male Taxpayers
From: IRS
RE: Notice of Increase in Tax Payment Form
The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up, […]
7 day to go
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm. “Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how’s about a quick screw?” said Bert. Mabel’s answer as expected was, “No Bert, it’s only 6 days […]
Bad wives
Three guys are in a bar discussing how much their wives bitch at them.
They decide that when they get home, they’ll do everything that the women ask.
The next weekend, they are in the same bar.
The first guy says, “Man, I don’t think that our idea was so great! I was sitting on the couch watching […]
Your Brakes
A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center road, making love.
He blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them.
Realizing that […]
Great reasons to be a guy
- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night.
- Chocolate is just another […]
Tastiest cookies
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, […]
Woman’s Third Wish
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, […]
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