Archives for the 'Odd jokes' Category
One long long path
“Doctor! Where you are taking me to?”
“To the morgue.”
“But I’m not dead yet.”
“So what? We haven’t arrived yet either.”
A dose of sausage
A customer asks the butcher:
“I’d like 5 grams of sausage, please.”
“Are you mocking me?” says the butcher.
“Not a bit! If I was mocking you, I’d ask you to slice it.”
Words of wisdom
Genetics explained us why you are looking like your father if you are, and why you do not look like your father if that happened that way.
Well dressed man is the man without a wedding ring.
When two men are talking to each other they are talking about themselves, but when two women are talking to […]
Crocs of the future
In the year 3000 three crocodiles lie on the river bank. One says: “We were green once.”
The other one says: “Yes, and we could swim.”
The third one says (indignantly): “Enough of this, stop waisting your time. Let`s fly around and gather some honey!”
Anything for you
“What else can I do for you, sir?” asks the bellhop, trying to please a gentleman and a lady who have just checked into their room in the hotel.
“Thank you, I don’t need anything,” answer the man.
“May be your wife needs anything?”
“Oh, it’s a good thing you reminded me! Bring me a post card, please.”
Round and Round
Q: How do you confuse an leprechaun?
A: Put him in a circle and tell him to wee in the corner.
Man Catches Crocodile
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, “Please let me go. I’ll grant you any wish you desire.” The man said, “Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground.” So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Clock Joke
Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a secret around a clock?
A: Because time will tell.
Staring Insult
If someone ever says, “What are you staring at?�
Say “I don’t know, give me a minute.â€?
3 Vampires
There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me a shot of blood.” The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.
The second vampire walks into the bar and says, “Bartender, give me a shot of blood.” The bartender gives him the […]
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