Archives for the 'Rednecks' Category
Two Rednecks in the Bar
Two Rednecks were sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life.
One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern.
One drunk says, “I sure wish that sheep was Marilyn Monroe.”
The other says, “I just wish it […]
More rope
There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy.
One day, she went to his parent’s house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture.
While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she […]
Hillbilly’s fax
Three Women - One German, One Japanese And A Hillbilly - Were Sitting Naked In A Sauna. Suddenly There Was A Beeping Sound.
The German Pressed Her Forearm And The Beep Stopped. The Others Looked At Her Questioningly. “that Was My Pager,” She Said. ” I Have A Microchip Under The Skin Of My Arm.”
A Few […]
Vasectomy at home
After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough.
As the social wouldn’t buy them a bigger bed and they weren’t strong enough to nick one, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a […]
Facts about New-Englanders
New England men are so tough, that they aren’t drinking coffee - they are eating it right out of the pack.
New England hockey players are so tough, that they are playing hockey with the crow-bars.
New England mosquitoes are so tough, that they are sucking their own blood.
Continue reading 20 Facts about New-Englanders…
Smart mule
A hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later); she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought […]
Kids jokes
A mother and the daughter are standing in front of the Venus de Milo. The mother says: “Look. This is what happens to girls who chew their fingernails.”
***
A visitors asks a kid from the country: “Where can I find your father?”
“He’s in the pigsty now . You’ll recognize him, no sweat. He’ll be the one […]
Stumpy and his wife
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, “Martha, I’d like to ride in that there
airplane.”
And every year Martha would say, “I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”
One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and […]
Throwing Stuff Down A Mineshaft
Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they came across an old mine shaft going straight down into the ground.
“Wow,” said the first guy. “I wonder how deep it is?”
“I dunno,” said the second.
“Let’s find out.” With that, he dropped a rock down the hole. They waited and waited, but didn’t hear it hit […]
None For You
A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.
“Not yet,â€? said the little boy. His mother tells him he can’t have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he […]
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