Archives for the 'Sex' Category
Silent movies
I have always showing Amsterdam for my friends. For women is planned cultural program - cruise through channels, visit to the Rembrandt Museum, etc. Program for men only includes visits to the bar with a good Belgian beer and a walk through the Red Light District.
Thats day one of my friends suddenly noticed the sex-shop […]
Blank or not
Woman and her lover are in bed.
Lover: “Your husband carrying a rifle everywhere. If he caught us, he shoot me.”
“Do not worry, I have replaced all five bullets in his gun with the blanks.”
And here comes husband. The lover running to a window, but the husband shoots him to death.
“And I thought that I […]
The Cart position
A couple talking to sexopathologist:
“We have tried everything. It’s all so boring…”
“Well. You can try “The Cart” position.”
“This is how?”
“Have you ever seen the cart? The wife should lean on her hands, and you take her legs and go for it!”
Wife:
“I have only two comments: In first, I will wear my gloves to save the […]
Most effective sex toy
Some mechanical toys helps to increase women’s sexual activity. The most popular and most effective toy is Porshe 911 Cabrio.
Do you sleep with my wife?
One guy asks another: “Did you have a chance to sleep with my wife yet?”
“What are you saying. I would never even think about such things.”
“Well. You might want to. She is much better, then yours.”
Kids jokes
A mother and the daughter are standing in front of the Venus de Milo. The mother says: “Look. This is what happens to girls who chew their fingernails.”
***
A visitors asks a kid from the country: “Where can I find your father?”
“He’s in the pigsty now . You’ll recognize him, no sweat. He’ll be the one […]
The easiest kind of sex
“What kind of sex do you prefer. Individual or group?”
“In a group.”
“Why?”
“It is easier to slip away.”
How to avoid pregnancy
“Know to avoid getting pregnant? Drink soda.”
“Before or after?”
“Instead of.”
Group sex with the neighbor
The door bell is ringing. A neighbor stays on the porch with a pen and piece of paper in his hands.
“Would you like to participate in a group sex?” he asks a man who opened the door.
“And who gonna be in that group?”
“I have you, your wife and myself in the list.”
“Hey, what are […]
Sado-Mazo
One day Mom was cleaning Junior’s room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, […]
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