Archives for the 'Women' Category
What’s the difference
Q: What’s the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 pounds
Q:What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: About 45 minutes
Women’s question
A man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.
“Well,” the man says, “I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now […]
50 Years Married
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.”
“Yeah,” she replied, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.”
“Yep,” the old […]
7 day to go
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm. “Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how’s about a quick screw?” said Bert. Mabel’s answer as expected was, “No Bert, it’s only 6 days […]
Bad wives
Three guys are in a bar discussing how much their wives bitch at them.
They decide that when they get home, they’ll do everything that the women ask.
The next weekend, they are in the same bar.
The first guy says, “Man, I don’t think that our idea was so great! I was sitting on the couch watching […]
Unconcerned widow
An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most: “When I die, I will dig my way up and out […]
Tastiest cookies
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, […]
Woman’s Third Wish
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, […]
Heart location
An 83-year old woman decided that she’d seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn’t certain […]
More rope
There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy.
One day, she went to his parent’s house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture.
While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she […]
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