http://oldgag.com Jokes, stories and tonns of humor Mon, 09 Jul 2007 10:04:22 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Q: What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A: About 45 pounds Q:What's the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? A: About 45 minutes http://oldgag.com/whats-the-difference/ Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck. Q: What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Humpme Dumpme! Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They've never met. Q: What's the mating call of ... http://oldgag.com/blondes-qa/ An executive was stressed out. He had to fire one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, either Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, since they were both equally qualified and both excellent workers. He finally decided that in the ... http://oldgag.com/hangover-2/ A man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is. "Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of ... http://oldgag.com/womens-question/ A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's ... http://oldgag.com/hairspray/ There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this ... http://oldgag.com/50-years-married/ Three buddies die in a car crash. They go to heaven and attend an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket, and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them ... http://oldgag.com/three-dead-buddies/ One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to the local nursing home in Dublin and leaves her as planned, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast including All Bran and some toast, and set her in a ... http://oldgag.com/tilt/ The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says, "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world. Nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And ... http://oldgag.com/best-products/ To: All Male Taxpayers From: IRS RE: Notice of Increase in Tax Payment Form The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the ... http://oldgag.com/notice-of-increase-in-tax-payment-form/